Rabbi Yitzhak's Blog

The SPIES saw wondrous, magnificent fruit. Yet, it had a negative impact on them. Chazal describe how they interpreted the many miracles that took place on their behalf in a similarly negative manner. Why? Because their attitude was wrong from the beginning. They did not want to see the inherent good in the land.

They only sought to disparage, to degrade. When people look with such a skewered and negative perspective, is it any wonder that their reports would not be consistent with reality?

Looking for the inherent good in a person is more than an attitude: it is a requisite for success in life. Parents should look for the good in their children, even when they are hurt by them. Educators must seek out the positive in their students if they are to successfully reach out to them.

Indeed, it is difficult to recognize this good in a person who has led a destructive lifestyle for decades, someone whose abuse of alcohol and drugs has caused great suffering for himself and so many others. Yet, each individual's integrity is always there, lurking beneath a veil of miscreancy. Just give it a chance, and it will emerge.

Rabbi Dr. Abraham Twerski tells a story about Avi, an ex-convict, who was in recovery from substance abuse and was enrolled in an Israeli rehabilitation program.  Addressing the group of "freshmen" who were joining the program, Rabbi Twerski spoke of the importance of maintaining one's self-esteem. Suddenly, Avi interrupted and asked, "How can you talk to us of this? I have been a thief since I was eight years old. When I am not in prison, I am out of work, and my family wants nothing to do with me. What kind of self-esteem can I have?"

Responding to this compelling question, Rabbi Twerski countered, "Have you ever walked by a jewelry shop and noticed the beautiful diamonds in the window? You know, those diamonds were not always so beautiful. In fact, when they come from the mine, they are nothing more than ugly lumps of dirty stone. Only a professional who understands the diamond can take the shapeless mound and transform it into a brilliant stone. He is able to bring out its intrinsic beauty. That is what we do at the recovery center. We look for the diamond in everyone. We enable the soul to emerge in all its true beauty, as we polish it until it gleams. You, Avi, are like that dirt-covered stone. Our function is to find the diamond within you and polish it until it glows brilliantly."

Two years elapsed, and Avi graduated from the program. He took a job as a construction worker. One day, the young woman who managed the halfway house where Avi had been a resident during his rehabilitation, received a call from a family whose matriarch had recently passed away. They desired to donate her furniture to the halfway house. She called Avi and asked him if he could possibly oblige and pick up the furniture. Avi quickly agreed. When he arrived at the house, he immediately saw that the furniture was not really worth picking up. Yet, he did not want to insult the family, so he took it anyway.

While Avi was toiling to carry the shabby sofa up the stairs to the halfway house, an envelope fell from the cushions. Avi brought in the couch and retrieved the envelope -- in which he discovered five thousand dollars. Here was a man who had served time in prison for burglary, a recovered drug addict who, a few years earlier, would have broken into a home if he thought it would net him twenty dollars. Avi was different now. He called the halfway house and told them about his discovery. They immediately called the family who had donated the sofa and notified them of their added contribution. The family was so appreciative of the integrity which Avi and the members of the halfway house displayed that they contributed the entire sum of money to the halfway house. As a result, the halfway house was able to purchase another bed and provide room for one more person in need. One more thing - Avi no longer perceived himself to be a thief!

Avi relayed the entire incident to Rabbi Twerski in a letter. He wrote, "When I used drugs, I would get high - temporarily. After a short while, I felt miserable and depressed - worse than before. It was a never-ending cycle of highs and lows. Now, it has been three months since I found that money. Every time I think of what I did, I feel great all over again. How different is this feeling from a temporary fix."

About a year went by, and Rabbi Twerski returned to the halfway house where Avi's good deed had set off a wonderful chain of events which led to the addition of another bed - and client. There was a new sign hanging over the entrance. It read: DIAMONDS POLISHED HERE. The diamond in the rough had finally emerged!